


You'll Always Remain

by angededesespoir



Series: Gerita Week [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, M/M, Minor Injuries, Multi, Other, Serious Injuries, aichmophobia mention, flower symbolism, homophobia mention briefly implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 00:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10204559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: [Oldfic; Originally posted 2/14/16 on Tumblr.]A story told in memory, memory in flowers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: Flowers. 
> 
> (I'm just copying the A/N I put on the original post b/c I still have not looked further into this.)
> 
> So, idk how floriography might differ between countries and I didn’t have the time to do the research [both on that and, um, where these flowers actually come from, although, this _is_ fiction, so…..], but here’s two of the sites I used for this piece (sorry if there are inaccuracies): 
> 
> [Here](http://thelanguageofflowers.com/) & [Here](http://www.ehow.com/list_7406494_flowers-mean-forgiveness.html).
> 
> (Normally I would look at more sites, but uh, since I came in on the last day of this week & am writing this quickly, I didn’t really have time.)
> 
> The list of Flowers & their Meanings are in the End Notes.
> 
> (Originally Posted on [Tumblr](http://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/139343309035/youll-always-remain).)

_The first time flowers were exchanged, it was Italy who thrusted the bouquet of yellow roses into Germany’s arms. There was a wince as a thorn pierced skin and a light blush on cheeks as his tongue struggled to shape a thank you._

_They had not been friends long and he had no use for flowers. Nonetheless it was a kind gesture, a symbol of friendship, so an empty vase was found and a place reserved on his desk._

_A sigh escaped him as the scent wafted through the room. There was no escaping that boy- even in absence, he was always there._

_–_

_Once, Italy convinced him to take some time away from all the planning and preparations. He takes him to a field of flowers and sets to work on making a crown._

_Germany works in frustration as stems break loose from their ties, the work undone and the progress erased._

_His fingers fumble under the guidance of Italy’s nimble ones._

_In the end, the crown of coreopsis pales in comparison to Italy’s crown of daisies, azalea, & gardenias._

_Italy beams at Germany’s work and kisses his cheeks with gratitude and affection, before he gently places his own masterpiece on Germany’s head._

_–_

_Before each battle, Italy sent camellia & cacti- good luck and endurance to the man, the nation, he so admired._

_And each time Germany was successful in conquest or battle, Italy sent him nasturtiums- the flower of victory._

_The sweet smell flooded the German’s lungs and invigorated him._

_He could take on the world._

_–_

_After a particularly bad blunder, Germany yells and Italy is shaken. There is fear and shame as he trembles in the fields, yanking up grass and bluebells and purple hyacinth. He makes a hasty arrangement, places it on the doorstep, returns to his room, hoping for the best._

_In the morning there is a bouquet a daffodils & white tulips on his bedside table._

_Italy smiles, tears running down his cheeks._

_–_

_When Italy gives him the red roses and arbutus, he panics. This is not the time to be facing the feelings he’s had for decades. His boss would never accept it. They’d both be in trouble. He couldn’t risk it._

_He smiles weakly as Italy kisses his cheeks and dashes off to meet his brother. He can feel the angry Italian’s eyes boring into his back and he can feel himself tense up in response._

_Later, with a heavy heart, he knocks on Italy’s door, avoids looking into his eyes as he rushes an apology and the shoves the Striped Carnations into his arms._

_He doesn’t wait for his reaction. He walks briskly forward without looking back. His hands are fists and his chest is heavy._

_–_

_The monitors are beeping steadily, but he is still unresponsive._

_Germany thinks back to after the war, when Italy handed him Blue Violets, Primrose, and Lily of the Valley. Tears ran down his cheeks as he embraced the German and wished him the best of luck on a speedy recovery. There was a smile on his lips as he kissed Ludwig’s cheek._

_Now his face is blank. The years have worn him down and his heart can barely stand to beat anymore._

_Germany is distressed and focuses his energy and mind on arranging the lilies of the valley, yellow roses, white violets, and ambrosia. Any distraction will do, because now he knows….._

_He’s waited too long and now it’s too late._

_–_

_Tracing the name on the cold stone, he holds back his tears. Purple petals drop from the hyacinths and the thorns of black roses pierce his skin._

_He can not feel anything. And he doesn’t remember how to let go. The past is raw, yet already gone._

_The people are already moving forward with their lives- patching up the pieces and pretending like nothing happened at all._

_Germany has a future; Italy does not- those are the facts._

_He drops the remains of withered flowers and turns his back to the grave._

_He will not let him see his tears._

_And he will not accept his losses._

_–_

_Bouquets of mixed Zinnia cover his home, the fragrance spilling from every room. He buys them from the Americas periodically, uses them to drown in memory._

_The others encourage him to move on. It has been decades, but he refuses. He cannot change the past and he cannot leave it behind. The feelings and memories are scars on heart and mind._

_He is young and he is still learning to forget._

_But with each painting he studies and letter he reads, he is learning to remember._

_Italy is not gone; he was always there_

_and he always shall remain._

_This he knows._

_The absence is never a permanent one._

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s some of the flower/plant meanings that I used:
> 
>  **Yellow Rose** \- Joy & Friendship 
> 
> **Coreopsis** \- Always Cheerful ; **Daisy** \- Innocence, Loyal Love, Purity, I’ll Never Tell; **Azalea** \- Take Care of Yourself for Me, Temperance; **Gardenia** \- You’re Lovely, Secret Love
> 
>  **Camellia** \- Admiration, Perfection, Good Luck; **Cactus** \- Endurance; **Nasturtiums** \- Conquest, Victory in Battle
> 
>  **Grass** \- Submission; **Bluebells** \- Humility; **Purple Hyacinth** \- I Am Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Sorrow; **Daffodils** \- Forgiveness, New Beginnings; **White Tulips** \- New Beginning, Sense of Worthiness, Forgiveness, Purity, Serenity
> 
>  **Red Roses** \- Love; **Arbutus** \- Thee Only Do I Love; **Striped Carnations** \- Refusal, Sorry I Can’t Be with You, Wish l Could Be with You 
> 
> **Blue Violets** \- Faithfulness; **Primrose** \- I Can’t Live Without You; **Lily of the Valley** \- Sweetness, Tears of the Virgin Mary, Return to Happiness, Humility, You’ve Made My Life Complete; **White Violets** \- Let’s Take a Chance on Happiness; **Ambrosia** \- Your Love is Reciprocated
> 
>  **Black Roses** \- Death, Tragic Love, Pure Devotion, Farewell
> 
>  **Mixed Zinnia** \- Thinking (or in Memory) of an Absent Friend


End file.
